Another day...

Ok, lets get this over with... The correct answer to last week's poll was 1.5 mLs.

Now since this is my blog, and only about, hmmmm, 10 people will likely ever read it, I am going to take a little liberty today and comment on something I consider to be a scourge to and a drain on society. The slow driver.

You know who I am speaking about. For example, take your average day on the freeway. You and the rest of the free world are traveling along at the comfortable pace of 70 - 75 mph. Everyone is getting along, some are tapping their steering wheels to the beat of the radio, a few smiles are exchanged, occasionally you might encounter some strange fellow or lady picking their nose. But on the whole, things are going smoothly. Then, suddenly the road immediately ahead is awash with the angry glow of brake lights. A few surprised and rash drivers swerve into other lanes in an attempt to bypass the cause of the confusion. Shortly, however, the other drivers get organized again and things settle down. After a time you notice that the cars in front of you each successively change lanes and accelerate past an unseen obstacle. When your turn comes you find a vehicle going exactly 64 1/2 mph with a bumper sticker which reads, "DO YOU KNOW where your mother is?". You signal and as you pass the drivers window you see someone dutifully clutching the steering wheel at precisely 10 and 2, their back slightly arched and their eyes ensconced upon the road in front of them. As you ease back into the lane in front of them you are left pondering whether the rigid curvature of their back is the result of an earnest attempt at mainting bowl control, or whether that is the level of concentration it takes to never, under any circumstances short of divine intervention, cross the 65 mph mark? No matter the reason, the message from these drives is clear, "By our refusal to break down and drive 'with the rest of the herd' we are holding this insane world together, and one day you crazy, irresponsible people will thank us".

I don't think so. In fact, I think we should start equipping some of the newer models of the larger SUV's with some sort of device that sits under the vehicle, securely bolted to the frame. When the SUV comes upon such a road obstacle a simple flip of a switch would extend the device which would be shaped like a fly swatter, which as we know is used to remove other annoyances from our lives. Once the device is fully extended and squarely under the slow moving vehicle, another toggle switch would gently lift it a few inches in the air and with a little direction from the driver, would guide the offending vehicle either to the left or right, and safely onto the shoulder, or emergency lane. Thereby doing the rest of us an incalculable service.

Well any way, just a thought and a pipe dream, but a nice one to imagine the next time you find yourself on the freeway, behind another life long member of the Safety Kids. Maybe they would be more comfortable sticking to those car rides at the fair, the ones that don't let you change lanes, or accelerate more than 5 mph for "insurance reasons".