What color is your strap?

The other day Clair and I were discussing my recent purchase of utility straps used to lash things down on a trailer or the bed of your truck (Refer to handy picture I downloaded). Somewhere in the middle of the conversation I heard myself say, "yeah, you can never have enough straps". To which Clair responded something along the lines of "I was thinking the other day I ought to pick me up a few of those". I commenced bragging about how I got the fifteen foot length for the price of the twelve, and only paid fourteen dollars. I believe I might have been rubbing my days growth of stubble and Clair may have had his arms crossed while nodding his head knowingly. I think there was even some Tim Taylor grunts tossed about. The air was rank with testosterone. You know the scene.

Now ladies, if you come upon two or more men standing around discussing something as ridiculous as towing straps just roll your eyes and walk away. And if you find yourself, as Ambo did, trapped and surrounded by said discussion, just ignore it. I cannot explain to a memeber of the female persuasion how it feels to hear in the insuing silence of such conversation a very feminine voice ask, "does it come in any other colors"?

Love you Ambo. {:-)

How do you describe life as a student?

For years I have lived happily with jeans from the discount rack, or the twenty dollar specials found in most major department stores. I even cruise to the local DI for work jeans. You tell yourself that you are being a wise or savy shopper, I mean, who would really pay a hundred dollars for a pair of jeans??? But the truth is you really can't afford the one hundred and fifty dollar pair, the one hundred, or even the fifty dollar pair. Not when you have text books to pay for, lab fees, etc.

The other day Ambo announced that she was done living with a husband whose jean selection consisted of two choices, 1) the "classic" tapered jean from Eddie Bauer (my dress jeans) and 2) a pair of "nutters" as I call them, they are the result of an earlier attempt of Ambo to domesticate me. Since then I have gained a few pounds and the jeans haven't grown with me.

So off to the Mall we went and after some minor haggling and compromising we came out with two pairs of real, live, reputable jeans that fit!.!. We went straight home and tossed out the old.

The only problem came a few days later when I slipped a pair on and noticed something didn't feel quite right. After zipping up I stood for a moment and tried to figure out what was wrong. Finally (I am rather slow) it occured to me that they were stiff. Almost like they weren't broken in yet. Almost like the material they were made of was thick enough to warrent some use to wear them down.

This was a revelation to me! I had become accustomed to paper thin denim, and now I had denim of substance! I ventured a shakey guess that as a result of this new quality these jeans might actually last for more than a year.!.!

The next shock came a few minutes later as I walked about the house. These jeans were actually comfortable! I didn't have to suck anything in to get them on and I could sit again! I have long ago given up the act of sitting while wearing my Eddies or Nutters, that was simply out of the question in social settings, and as for private settings it just wasn't couth either.

John and I were sitting in the hall today in between classes talking about how hard it is as a student, being a father and a husband. Impatiently wanting to be able to give your wife and kids everything they need and want but with the realization that we really aren't making any money. We talked about our wives who take such a gamble on us, and who support us as we struggle to make ends meet. How much they sacrifice, and silently cope with the realities of life. How readily they stand with us as we strive to slay the dragons of life. How grateful we truely are that at the end of the day there is a warm, comfortable home to go to, with your best friend waiting to hear about your day. A warm meal to eat, and a soft pillow to lay our heads. And how grateful we are to be married to women who have their eyes on the final goal and who support us despite everything we put them through, and despite the temporary lack of prosperity in our lives.

During our conversation I thought about pants.

So, here is too the discount shopping life of a student, here is to the makers of cheap denim who allow us to stay clothed during those never to be forgotten times, here is to the makers of quality pants (The light at the end of the tunnel)! And espeically, here is to our wives and families who sacrifice to help us accomplish the goals we made. It really is worth all you go through to get to them! At least it will be once you actually graduate!

Trivial Pursuit

Just so you know, I invented Snow Skiing. Yup.

Let me tell you how it came to be. Back in High School two of my friends and I got caught up in this crazy little scenario. We found ourselves high in the back country with nothing but the clothes on our backs and a six foot two-by-four. It was the height of winter and we were racing. I don't know where we were going or why, all I know is that I had to get there before the other two, and I had to get there now!

Off we raced! Over hills and through valleys. Across great meadows and streams. We raced across the top of the snow with out falling into it as though it were frozen solid. At some point it occured to me to lay on top of my two-by four and slide down the backs of the hills and into the valleys, and so I did. Much to my surprise I didn't stop in the valleys but raced across them and up the next hill even gaining momentum until I launched off a peak and got major air! Not to bad for a roughly hewn two-by-four and a guy who weighs a buck seventy!

When I landed I became aware that several native americans were standing by watching me in complete shock. (Can you blame them?) They lead me back to their camp and fed me dinner. At some point during the night one of them dubbed me the "yellow flower" for my abilities (if someone could please explain the correlation between two-by-fours, sliding, getting air, and a yellow flower I am open to suggestions).

So, the next time you are playing trivial pursuit and are asked who invented snow skiing, what the first snow ski was made of or if you are asked to interpret a pictograph of a yellow flower you will know. You can thank me later.

Aren't dreams a crack up???

For Sale!!!!

A report on the house hunting....

Do people not realize that the minute they decide to put their home on the market it stops being a home and becomes a house. A house for sale. People don't live there any more. Take the family photos down, take the dream catchers down, put away the nic knacks and belly button lint collections, hide your medications, and for heavens sake, put some doors on your bathroom cabinets! (Somethings you can't un-see!)

The other day Ambo and I walked through a potential house and I thought I would share the experience with you. Not that we are realators or anything, but I am pretty sure that what we experienced was the very definition of what not to do.

Ambo and I pulled up on time, knocked on the door and were meet by the home owner (strike one). He invited us in, explaining that his realtor was running late. As we walked into the front room we noticed a man standing against the wall with a binder in his hand, we learned that he also had been scheduled to walk through with the same realtor at the same time as we were. (Strike two). The home owner invited us to show ourselves around, and we did so as he commenced bustling around putting clothes away and such. (Strike three).

The realtor showed up a short time later and he commenced playing catch up with us by showing us rooms that we had already been in and when asked how long the home had been on the market he won us over with his stuttered reply "umm, 60 to 90 days" (wrong, the house has been on the market for as long as we have been out of ours, that was over five months ago).

Unfortunately the tour only continued to trend downward. Some of my personal highlights include: The two or three minute pause while he groped in the dark trying to locate the light switch "that is around here somewhere". After patiently waiting the proper amount of time for him to make a complete fool of himself I pointed out the piece of string that was dangling down from the ceiling immediately inside the closet, exactly centered in the door frame, the same irritating piece of string that had been bouncing off his head as he feverishly looked for that dang switch! I then illustrated the proper technique by grabbing said string and with a praticed tug, filled the cramped closet with glorious light.

Next up was a tour of the Kitchen. Did you know that if you take your garden variety acquarium rocks and glue them to your cupboard doors in various shapes and patterns it will look exactly like you would image them looking? Yikes!

The home is a tri-level and true to form there is a hand rail separating the main level from the basement family room. Apparently the homeowners, yes the ones who are still flitting about trying to look busy, felt they would like more privacy between the two rooms, solution? A piece of blue foam taped to the baluster! More privacy, and additional sound proofing! So practical.

I could continue with things like the dog run with astro-turf, the muddy tour of the back yard, or the "immaculate landscaping" that includes a collection of various lava rocks, and a four foot Gargoyle that greats you next to the front door.

Before leaving the almost mute realtor really put the pressure on by informing us that traffic has really been picking up lately, they even had an offer, but they turned it down as it was too low. Imagine that.

The Godfather

Let me just tell you a little something about me and food. Ambo was reading her scriptures today and came across a verse she felt compelled to point out that it reminded her of me. . I can not disagree.

Today I had the honor of going to Gandolfo's. Derek, a fellow student, has been talking up this eating establishment for months and today I finally gave in. He ordered the "urban cowboy", and I cornered the "Godfather", a foot long bun filled with breaded chicken breast strips, marinara sauce, and mozzarella cheese. And I topped if off with a side of "Mermaid Salad".

Wow, if that sandwich had been wearing a ring I would have kissed it and excepted his "offer I can't refuse."

And so, if you are in the mood for a wide range of sandwiches including several vegiterian and breakfast offerings, salads and soups, I would have to join Derek in ushering you through these doors. I don't think you will be disappointed.

Does anyone else have any eating establishments they would recommend to me? I am not above driving or even flying to partake!